


John: Be slightly attracted to the boy in the back of your Dad's police car

by Kenmai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3540599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenmai/pseuds/Kenmai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt:- I’m a super tough punk who hates authority. Your parents are cops who have met me more than once but I like you a lot. </p><p>I changed it up a bit. May continue it if wanted, but if not i'll leave it like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John: Be slightly attracted to the boy in the back of your Dad's police car

**Author's Note:**

> (Omg ok, just pretend that Dad Egbert is a cop? Pft this story sucks but i don't mind.)

John had been sitting down at the dinner table with his das and his sister, Jade, as they were eating and discussing their individuals days.

Jade swung her feet as she continued her story. “So like, now I have to get partnered up with Dave because he decided he didn’t like his partner and he just walked right up to kid, walked the kid over to his seat and then sat down next to me.”

John snorted as he tried not to spit out his food.

“By now the kid is ready to raise his hand and tell the teacher but at the same moment Dave raises his hand and alerts the teacher. He interrupts the teacher, points at me and says ‘I Hath claimeth the trash as mine. That kid can,’ pardon my language ‘fuck the truck off.”

Their dad shook his head a little in disbelief as John burst into an outright grin.

Jade leans in a bit. “And the guess what,” She stops to quickly munch on a small slice of cake their Dad made earlier that day.

“What?” Dad said as he nervously wondered what else Dave could get away with.

“The teacher gives Dave detention and in protest Dave recites the it’s free country speech. By then the teacher starts walking up to him to carry him to the principals’ office, and so when the teacher grabs him Dave starts singing Let It go and does these dramatic motions as the teacher carries him away. The whole class was in hysterics.”

Dad sighed as John wiped the tears from his eyes. “Oh man that is gold. Was that the last time you heard from him because I only got to see him at lunch time today.”

“Oh no! “ Jade took out her phone and scrolled up to the previous texts from Dave and showed her brother. “He texted me shortly afterwards and proceeded to send me a selfie of him in the waiting room outside the principals’ office. I swear to goodness he really should stop this.” Jade chuckled as she shook her head in amusement.

John smiled at her and waggled her eyebrows.

She glared at him. “It’s not like that.” She turned to their Dad. “You believe me right Dad?”

Mr. Egbert waved his hands in a non-chalant manner as he turned to John. “Besides your sisters’ obvious crush for the Strider ruffian, how was your day John?”

Jade rolled her eyes and continued eating her food.

John shrugged. “It was the same as always with me I guess, I kinda just go through the day and then it’s over? I can’t really describe it, Dad.”

Dad stirred his coffee a little bit. “Hmm. Maybe we should do something on the weekend then?”

John smiled. “Yes! We must watch Big Hero 6.”

“Ooh! What about a romance comedy!?”

John frowned at her sister. “But BH6 has action Jade.”

Jade tsked a little.

“Bluh.”

“Now now settle down you two, we can always decide later.”

“Eh.”

“Alrighty then.” Jade turned to look at her father again. “So Dad what did you do today-“

They all frowned as Dad’s phone rang. That surely meant one thing.

Dad sighed as he looked at his phones and answered. “Hello?....Yes…alright…sure it’s no problem…where?...alright I’ll be there soon.” He hung up the phone and sighed again. “Sorry guys, they called me in the line of duty.”

“What’s happening this time?” Jade asked.

“There’s this young teen that robbed a convenience store and punched out a few security guards. He’s also on the run so I gotta go. He’s actually a bit close to your ages.”

“Geez, he must be pretty tough or something if that’s true. Good luck Dad.”

“Be safe.”

“Look on the Brightside kids.” Dad smiled as he started putting on his shoes and heading towards the door. “I’ll have to pass back this way to get to the station so I may stop by and bring back something.”

“Sweet!” John said as Dad said his goodbyes and rushed out the door towards his police car.

The two siblings watched from the window as he reversed and quickly drove away.

Jade turned to him. “Wanna sit on the porch and play Mario Kart was we wait?”

John shrugged. “Sure.”

The two ran upstairs to find their DSi’s and made their way back downstairs to sit outside on the steps.

The night air was pretty chilly which made John glad he was wearing his sweater. Jade on the other hand said that it the air felt nice and warm.

“You’re weird if you can’t feel the cold Jade.” John said as he turned on the DSi

“I like weird John.”

“Oh so you do like Strider.”

She punched his arm. “Shut up.”

John said a tiny ‘ow’ as they waited to connect. Soon enough John and Jade were racing against each other as it was John’s duty to make sure she didn’t come in first.

“That was a dirty trick John!” Jade yelled as she barely avoided a banana peel he threw.

John looked offended. “The old banana peel trick is a classic!”

Jade rolled her eyes. “No okay that was uncalled for you’re just cheating now because you know you can’t win.”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me John.” Jade smirked. “I am the Mario Kart master.”

Just then John chuckled. “You’re in first place huh?”

Jade furrowed her eyebrows. “Yes John we established this. I’m in first place and I’m winni- ohhhh my god you did not just send that blue shell!!!”

John doubled over in laughter as he passed Jade and shot Toad with a red shell, making it into first place. John grinned as Jade glared daggers at him. Soon they were in a tackle fight and John was screaming for mercy. Remind him never to do that again. Actually he would probably still do that anyway.

Jade was about to challenge John to another round when their Dad pulled up. The two could fairly see someone in the backseat with a hoodie over their head.  The person looked like they were looking right at him. Weird.

John checked his watch and made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth. Gee it had been a whole hour and a half already!

“Hi Dad!” The two greeted as he got out of the car.

“Hey, I just forgot something is all! Keep an eye on him I’ll be right back!” He motioned over to the vehicle as he dashed instead. “Don’t get too close.”

“Ok.” Jade answered.

John on the other hand waltzed right on over towards his dads’ car.

“John no!” Jade silently scolded.

He peered inside at the person and realized it was actually just a young teen. A young teen around his age. A young teen around his age with black hair, slightly tanned skin and red eyes that stared right at him.

John’s first thought was ‘Oh No, he’s hot’ but he was more pre-occupied with the boy raising his eyebrow at him. Oh shit the window was open. This boy didn’t really look tough though, he looked small and scruffy, and just adorable. This guy punched out two security guards? John almost laughed. But the boy was handcuffed so he must be much stronger than he looks.

The teen narrowed his eyes at John and said. “What?!”

John was slightly taken aback by the way his voice sounded. It was a little high and it sounded almost like he was shouting his words.

John nervously chuckled. “Hi?”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion  and shook his head in disbelief. “Oh my gosh. Are you fucking serious? I’m in the back of your dad’s cops car and the first thing you do is come over and casually say hi? Fucking hell you’re something else.” Jesus Christ this kid looked like a dork. IN the good way though.

“Well you seem interesting I guess! I don’t know man. You’re weird. I kinda like weird.” Wait is John flirting? Shit.

The boy blinked and smiled a little. “I guess I’m the literal definition of weird then. Well, shit. Actually I’m always surrounded by weird. Anyway, what’s up with you I guess?”

He shook his head at John. He still couldn’t believe they were just having a casual conversation out of the blue like this.

John grinned and shrugged as he pointed over to Jade. “I just kicked my sister’s ass in Mario Kart.”

“He cheated!” Jade yelled in the distance.

John rolled his eyes as he turned back to the teen.

“By the way, what’s your name?”

John blinked and tilted his head. “Why?”

The teen resisted the urge to roll his eyes but just sighed. “You sure aren’t the expert at flirting.”

John’s face turned red and he choked a little. “Um,...it’s John.”

“Karkat Vantas. Give me your DSi for a second.”

John was a little reluctant but Karkat assured him he wouldn’t steal it. What would be the point anyway?

John handed over his DSi as Karkat quickly drew something down on it. John’s Dad had come back outside and was headed towards the car.

Karkat resisted the urge to wink but he just decided to roughly shove the console back to him and frowned as he glared at John’s Dad. He’d flip him the bird if he could. He did it mentally anyway. Actually he should’ve winked at John just to piss his Dad off. Too late now though. Goddamnit.

“John!”John quickly looked up at his Dad. “What part of not go near the car did I say son? I’m proud that you kept watch though.”

“Hehe…sorry Dad.”

Dad sighed. “I’ll bring back something when I get home again.”

“Ok.” Jade answered as she stood on the side of John.

“Again, I’ll be back soon.”

John looked at Karkat once more before waving. Karkat rolled his eyes and smiled a little. He nodded at the DS once more before John watched his dad reverse and drive away.

John was confused as he went to look at the DS. His face turned red as Jade peered over his shoulder to read and laugh.

Karkat had opened up Flip note studio and written a little message that said:-

_Call Me Maybe? Not the song btw. I still like it though. Just take my fucking number you dork. XXX-XXX-XXXX. Seriously though, call me nerd. <3_

“Oh my Goddddddd.” John covered his reddened face and Jade keeled over in laughter.

Nonetheless Dad came home later that night with Starbucks and John had registered Karkat’s’ number in his phone. He shakily texted the number. His dad would kill him if he found out a delinquent was flirting with his son. Oh boy.

Little John know that was the start of his escapades of dating a delinquent, and it was fucking magical.


End file.
